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Just when you thought you'd seen every devious plot to come out of Russia, billionaire Roman Abramovich is nearly done with his monstrous yacht.  This yacht, amongst other features, has a "laser photo shield."  What, you ask, is this shield?  According to the Times online, "Infrared lasers detect the electronic light sensors in nearby cameras, known as charge-coupled devices. When the system detects such a device, it fires a focused beam of light at the camera, disrupting its ability to record a digital image."

The Eclipse - 2/3ds the size of the battleship Bismarck, the pride of the German navy during WWII

Image: Zerosix.wordpress.com

That's all well and good, but what happens when Abramovich decides he's really had enough of the paparazzi's harassment?  Could this laser weapon be charged up so that instead of just ruining the poor reporter's camera, it would actually penetrate beyone the lens, possibly blinding him or worse?  No answers were found in our research, but, as these lasers can be manually activated, our assumption at pinkomenace.com is a resounding yes. 

For that matter, what if this billionaire decides that, like other nations, the territorial waters around his yacht extend in a 12 mile radius?  Unknowing boats like those pictured below would have to be eliminated.

The Eclipse yacht defending what Roman Abramovich would possibly consider his "teritorial waters"

This ship comes equipped with it's own submarine as well as armor plating and a radar system meant to detect and avoid inbound missiles.  Additionally, Abramovich employes his own "private army" consisting of roughly 40 former French Foreign Legion troops.  Given that these troops have no loyalty to their birth country, they would be ideal for carrying out his bidding without question.

The included submarine can be used to escape attack (or for sabatoge)

Photo: smh.com

But, if you are* a respectable multi-billionaire like Abramovich, why wouldn't you need a ship that could survive a missile attack?  Or a private army for that matter?  Or helipads for two (possibly missile-equipped) helicopters?  Our suspicion is that one day Abramovich has ambitions of leading the Micronation Alliance in their quest for global Communism.  This ship itself would actually be larger than some of these micro-states and would serve as an ideal platform for landing troops on neighboring islands during conquests.

*If you are a multi-billionaire and are reading this article, you should seriously consider donating to pinkomenace.com.  As far as we know, it's tax-deductible.