pinkomenace.com

As promised on the real American Christmas day, December 25th, Pinko Santa Claus is revealed here for the first time to be none other than former Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev!  We decided to wait until January 7th to reveal this in order to ruin Soviet Russia's Christmas.

That's Right, Mikhail Gorbachev.  Make sure you've been a good little Commie boy or Girl and maybe you'll get a radish!

When he was the premier in the 1980's  Gorbachev had many visitors to him as Santa Claus including future Russian president Vladimir Putin!

Santa (Gorbachev): "Ho Ho Ho, what do you want little boy?"

Putin: "Well, Santa, I'd like to rule all of Russia one day, a few new ICBMs for Russia, and victory in Afganastan."

Santa (Gorbachev): "Hmm, well, how about some borscht?"

Although his last wish never came true for Russia, Putin did go on to rule Russia and did indeed receive a lukewarm plate of borscht for (Russian) Christmas dinner. Vladimir would end up ruling Russia as President until pesky constitutional restrictions caused him to step down to a position merely as Prime Minister (at least for now).

But who is Russia's traditional Santa Claus figure?  According to Russian newsmagazine Pravda, "The Father Christmas we all know and love started his life as a ferocious Winter spirit...  culminating eventually in the incarnation of Ded Moroz (Grandpa Frost). Far from bearing presents in his sack, he used it to carry children away and turn them into ice…  the families of the children used to ransom them by giving him a present so that he would leave them alone."  So, yes, even Santa Claus in Russia is quite terrible.

Nonetheless, as an aditional bonus, Pinkomenace.com is pleased to bring you several Soviet Christmas postcards from Mazaika.com:

Translation:  "Merry Christmas!  USSR have the best space stations, look as our Cosmonaut covers his shame while urinating over America!"

Translation: "Merry Christmas Proletariat!"

The implied meaning here is that in the US and most Capitalist countries, obviously Santa does not come to everyone's house on a flying sleigh.  Parents lie to their kids and tell them that Santa came.  In Russia, however, state technology has allowed Santa Claus (possibly Gorbachev) to actually visit every houshold.

Same as picture above, but using a plane this time.