According to the Associated Press, Vladimir "Thallium Master" Putin will consider running for president of Russia yet again in 2012. After having to step down after two terms as Dark Lord of the Evil Empire due to inconvenient constitutional restrictions, Vladimir all but announced his intentions to run against current president Medvedev in the next Russian election cycle. When asked, he is quoted as saying that he "will think about it, there is still enough time." He also said "don't hold your breath" when asked whether he was planning to leave politics.
"And I will sneak up behind the terrorists, and say "Kaboom!" Immediately fire will shoot from my hands, and they will surrender directly to me. Muhahahaha!"
During this talk-fest, Vladimir took credit for softening the economic crisis and then teased the Russian rich for showing off their wealth, saying that their "fancy imported cars" were as grotesque as "golden teeth". Rappers across the US have promised retribution for this insult.
He also promised computers for a Russian schoolgirl and wished a 55-year old babushka happy birthday (possibly the Russian cat-lady). Although this would seem quite trivial in a normal press-conference, please keep in mind that this one lasted 62 minutes longer than the Orlando Bloom classic, Lord of the Rings. Most likely Mr. Putin needed some filler.
Vladimir demanded that he be named news anchor-for-life for RTN (Russian Television Network)
Source: AP
All in all, it seems Putin is still somewhat in control of things around Russia.
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