pinkomenace.com

In a day that no one saw coming, congressman Ron Paul has introduced a bill that would allow competing currencies to be used in American stores and Restaurants.  Although competing curencies is strange in itself, according to the Russian Times, if the bill were to pass, one would most likely be able to pay for items in Rubles.  Pinko overlords would then take advantage of this by encouraging their most favored coffee shop, Starbucks, to accept Rubles - possibly only Rubles - as payment for their services. 

Although generally controversial, very few people had labeled Ron Paul as a Communist before this incident.  No word yet on whether this news article will hurt his re-election chances.  In our opinion, as Americans do love Starbucks coffee, making them use Rubles in that establishment couldn't help.

Pay with Rubles at Starbucks?  Just what I always wanted!

This bill would actually make things easier for Starbucks, as we believe most of the money from their sales is going back to Russia.  Because of this new bill, Russia wouldn't have to pay to exchange currencies back and forth.  Certainly they are laughing at the fact that an estimated ninety percent of the money spent there in Capitaist excess goes back to Russia to finance various projects for the Motherland.  It is believed that "Oil Rocks City" was financed purely from Frappuccino sales.

Possible new Russian Starbucks Theme

This new "Rubles only" policy would hopefully make up for a recent Starbucks employee's attempt to charge Russian overlords for Internet service.