pinkomenace.com

As promised on the real American Christmas day, December 25th, Pinko Santa Claus is revealed here for the first time to be none other than former Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev!  We decided to wait until January 7th to reveal this in order to ruin Soviet Russia's Christmas.

Informed Capitalists know that Georgia has had it's problems with Russia in the last few years.  However, According to Pravda.ru, in an apparent slap in the face to Moscow, they have decided to dismantle a monument to "The Great Patriotic War" (or World War II as it's known pretty much everywhere outside of Russia).  Furthermore, they will finish this work on December 21st, which, as all good Pinko Commies know, is Joseph S

Although Moscow is not where one would expect to see a pyramid, a floating pyramid over this city would be even less likely.  According to Pravda, this is exactly what citizens of Moscow saw on the night of December the 18th.

In a day that no one saw coming, congressman Ron Paul has introduced a bill that would allow competing currencies to be used in American stores and Restaurants.  Although competing curencies is strange in itself, according to the Russian Times, if the bill were to pass, one would most likely be able to pay for items in Rubles.  Pinko overlords would then take advantage of this by encouraging their most favored coffee shop, Starbucks, to accept Rubles - possibly only Rubles - as payment for their services. 

Azerbaijan, a former Soviet Republic, has the distinction of being the only country to have what could be considered a small city built off it's coast in the Caspian Sea.  this structure was built in 1947 under the USSR, and it's supposed purpose was and is to extract oil from the shallow water portion of the Absheron geological trend.

According to John Hopkins Bloomberg, the US obesity prevalence increased from 13 to 32 percent between the 1960's and 2004.  Presumably data from 2004 to 2009 was not included as it was simply too shocking to be believed.  According to this same article, however, the US obesity rate will be 41 percent by 2015, and the percentage of overweight Americans will stand at 75.  Apparently they also have a time machine at John Hopkins, but that's a whole different story.

This Saturday, as many of you will notice, Pinkomenace.com was redesigned.  This redesign follows a cyber-attack coming from either Mother Russia or Kim Jong-il's North Korea.  Although pinkomenace.com was unaffected due to our being tipped off from a Russian double-agent of who's identity we obviously cannot reveal, new security measures were nonetheless, in order.

Although most people don't watch the winter Olympics, and only Americans from Minnesota and Michigan watch ice hockey generally, the US beating the USSR for the gold medal was still voted the greatest sports moment of the 20th century.  These voters apparently forgot that we actually beat Finland for the gold medal, but who really paid attention back then?

As seen in the following video, a trip on Russian airlines is apparently like a wild fraternity party.   Fun times at first, but when the alcohol starts flowing, some people, especially Russian males, turn into mean drunks.  As the title of the video says, "No Vodka on Board -- Russians in panic!".  Just like when a keg is tapped at your nearest frat party, when the vodka runs out in Russia, utter pandemonium ensues.

According to the Associated Press, Vladimir "Thallium Master" Putin will consider running for president of Russia yet again in 2012.  After having to step down after two terms as Dark Lord of the Evil Empire due to inconvenient constitutional restrictions, Vladimir all but announced his intentions to run against current president Medvedev in the next Russian election cycle.